All battles are won in the mind, and Wayne Rooney’s not leaving anything to chance. Our hero of the shining metatarsals has decided he’ll chat with Liverpool’s Dr. Steve “Freudian Slip” Peters, after getting the go-ahead from Steven “oops I slipped again” Gerrard. Personally, I think Rooney’s insecurities are best fixed by having a quiet meeting with Paul “backstabber” Scholes in the parking lot.
On the positive side, Zico has a few good things to say about Rooney.
Jokes aside, I sincerely hope this is Rooney’s World Cup. Get a goal, man.